The Carpenter

I was sitting at home the other night watching an episode of Sex and the City, and it happened to be the episode that introduces John Corbett's character Aiden, who I had completely forgotten was a carpenter. In a sudden flash, I recalled a dream I had aaaaaaages ago, whereby my current crush was a carpenter and he made me a chair. Only I didn't know he'd made it for me, and after a busy day selling his furniture, I fell asleep in the chair and awoke to overhear him telling a prospective buyer that he'd made the chair for me. Anyway, I figured that could definitely be turned into a short and sweet story, so here it is...

The Carpenter

"Do you need anything else or are we done for the day?" I wound my head around the door frame into my boss' office. He was sitting at his desk looking completely exasperated, which was usual these days. His glasses had slid down his nose, which he wrinkled upon seeing a particular piece of paper. 

"Uh, no, I think we're good. Thanks Leah." I could see that he was being genuine, those big blue eyes could never lie to me, but I could also see the piles of paper in his hands and all over his desk, something he definitely needed help with. He was good with his hands, he had me for the paperwork.

"You sure?" I nodded at his desk and he shoo'd me away.

"I'm sure, get out of here before I change my mind." He smiled and let out a raspy chuckle. That sound made my insides clench and my spine tingle.

"I'll see you in the morning then." I called as I headed out.

"Oh Leah," I turned as I reached the door and saw my boss leaning out of his office, one big hand holding onto the door frame. "Thanks for all your help today. Well not just today. I couldn't have done all this without you." 

I tried to sound nonchalant and also tried not to swoon. "I know. See you tomorrow. Don't stay too late." He nodded and headed back in. I half expected to find him asleep amongst the papers in the morning, with some important invoice stuck to his cheek. 

~

My boss - Jeremy - had tried his hand at most jobs. He'd worked in a mall as fragrance model, moving onto the make up counter to improve his game with the ladies (his words), he'd then acted for a while, small off broadway productions and a few commercials, never quite hitting the big time. His college buddy Chris had started a house renovation company and he had joined him as a general handyman (remember me saying he was good with his hands?). His father had been in and out of the army when Jeremy was little, holding down a myriad of jobs when he wasn't overseas. He'd been a plumber, mechanic and electrician, so Jeremy had picked up certain things from going with him on jobs. The more he worked with Chris on renovations, the more he got to know, and the more money he made allowed him to invest in the business.

In his spare time, Jeremy started to restore old furniture and even build a few pieces of his own design, which they used to furnish the houses when they were renovated. Whoever bought their properties really got a fantastic deal. Anyway, one day Chris suggested to Jeremy that he open a store and sell his furniture there. His one off pieces were stunning and unique, and in a city like New York, would sell like hot cakes. So he took the plunge, and bought a small shop space with a workshop in the back, and he hired me to handle all of his administration and enquiries. And from the day he interviewed me I'd been hopelessly in love with him.

Of course he had no idea. He was exactly the kind of guy I always fell for, a little on the short side (he claimed to be 5,10" but I was sure he was more 5,8", or less), dirty blond hair and blue eyes, and just the right amount of arrogance that made him seem confident rather than a jerk. I on the other hand, was probably not the kind of girl he normally went for. Bookish, glasses, long brown hair and not exactly thin. Not fat, not by normal standards anyway, but certainly by New York standards I was definitely not a size zero. I could see him with a long legged, skinny blonde with no boobs. He wouldn't be put off by her height, in fact I have no doubt that he was Tom Cruise in that respect, he probably went out of his way to go out with taller women to show how much it didn't intimidate him. This was all just 'probablys' and 'maybes' as I'd never actually seen him with a woman. Maybe he was gay. He did spend a lot of time with Chris...

Anyway, tomorrow was opening day and we'd spent all day today putting everything in it's place. As I left for the night I took one last look at my favourite piece that I had placed in the window, a high backed chair that you could just curl up on with a cup of tea and a good book. He'd started building it after my first week with the company. I saw it's bare bones in the warehouse and he'd caught me running my hands over the freshly carved and sanded arches and admiring the beautifully crafted legs. I was embarrassed as I'd never been so awed by a piece of furniture before. He moved it to his house after that, to the workshop he had there. He told me it was a passion project and that he'd moved it out of the warehouse so that he could work on it in his spare time. A small part of me wondered if he'd moved it so I couldn't touch it again. I kept asking for progress reports until he finally brought it in and asked me to sit on it. I was so surprised he'd picked me as his test subject but I supposed it was just out of respect for my curiosity about the piece. He'd ended up dressing it in this soft, dusky pink fabric that sounds hideous but it worked so well with the dark wood, and it was so soft you just felt wrapped up in it as soon as you sat down. I loved that chair but it was so far out of my price range that I'd put it in the window hoping it would be the first item to go. I didn't want it to tease me by staying in the shop more than a day. I blew a goodnight kiss to the chair, and to Jeremy, and headed home.

~

The next day was hectic from the word go. I picked up coffee on my way to the store, White Americano for Jeremy and a Pumpkin Spiced Latte for me, and I practically skipped along the busy streets until I reached the trade entrance to the store. I tentatively stepped inside and was greeted by Jeremy's tired smile.

"What time d'you call this?" He asked with a chuckle, holding his watch up for effect. There was more than an hour before opening but I imagined he'd been there a while. He was wearing a navy blue suit jacket and pants and a white button down with no tie. I hoped he'd remembered a tie but hadn't put it on yet, as there was going to be a lot of press here today. I handed him his coffee and clinked the paper cup with my own.

"Here's to the best opening day ever." I said before taking a sip.

"And to continued business!" He added with a look that said "eek" rather than the confidence I'd been expecting. 

We added our finishing touches to the layout and dressing of the store, and gathered outside for the unveiling. Jeremy's mother and sisters had come over from California for the occasion and I recognised Chris and a few of his other friends in the crowd of people outside the store. The photographers gathered for the cutting of the ribbon that announced the store 'open' and then before we knew it people were inside and snapping up the items in the store and in the catalogue, as well as making orders for their own custom pieces to be made. The day was a great success.

At the end of the day Jeremy offered to get us both a celebratory drink and told me to go into the workshop and take the weight off my feet for a moment. It was then I noticed my chair. Well, not my chair obviously, but the chair I loved. I wondered if it had been bought and was sitting there waiting to be delivered, but when I walked up to it there was no 'reserved' or 'sold' sign present. Then my heart sank as I wondered if it had been damaged in the hustle and bustle of the day and was sitting here in need of repair. I was checking it for damage when Jeremy re-appeared with two champagne flutes.

"What are you doing?" He asked, looking at me curiously.

"Is it broken?" I asked, with more concern than I should have.

"Nah, just not for sale." he handed me a flute and held his own aloft. "To great partnerships." he announced and clinked my glass. I didn't quite know to what he was toasting so I just nodded and took a sip of my champagne. "I couldn't have done this without you." I almost choked on my drink.

"Are you kidding? You did do all this without me. All I did was come in and balance your books."

"Now you're the one who's kidding right? Leah, you organised me. Me! Do you know how big a job that was? And you put so much into the layout of the store, the window display, everything. This is all you." he motioned around him, which was ironic as we were in the workshop, which I had nothing to do with. I quickly changed the subject.

"So who bought the chair?" I couldn't bear to sit on it now I knew it had a home.

"No-one."

"But you said it's not for sale?"

"Yep."

"So, what? You just decided not to sell it?" I was completely confused. It was a masterpiece of craftsmanship. It would be a travesty if he didn't sell it.

"Something like that. I decided that it should belong to the person who inspired me to make it," when I continued to stand there with a look of confusion etched on my face, Jeremy continued. "Are you going to sit in your chair or what?"

"My chair?"

"Your chair." He sat down on the bench that was opposite me and took another sip from his flute.

"MY CHAIR?!" I said again, a little louder this time.

"Don't you like it?" I think he wondered for a moment that he'd been wrong and that I didn't love that chair as much as he'd thought I did.

"I love this chair. Are you serious? Jeremy you have to let me pay you for it? I mean, it will have to be in installments but I will pay." I still hadn't sat down.

"Shut up and sit down. It's yours already."

I did as instructed and sat down in the chair. My chair. Now he'd said it was made for me I could actually feel as though it was sculpted to my measurements. The seat was big enough that I could curl my legs under me, which was how I always sat (or tried to sit) on everything. I kicked off my pumps and tucked my legs onto the seat next to me, half expecting him to flinch and say 'no feet on the chair' but he just smiled and relaxed against the table behind him.

"You like?" He asked, suddenly nervous.

"I love it. I mean I already loved it but now it's mine, I mean - thank you. Thank you so much." I stood up and wrapped my arms around his neck. It was the most awkward hug with him still seated but he soon rose to his feet and hugged me back.

"You're welcome." He said into my neck. He held onto me a beat longer than he should have, and when I pulled back he closed the space between us and kissed me. I was so caught up in the moment I kissed him back, his tongue slipping between my lips to deepen the kiss. He tasted of champagne, and despite myself, I soon lost myself to that kiss. When we parted for air I suddenly had a flash of concern over what we'd just done. Surely it was not a good idea to kiss your boss.

"We shouldn't do this." I told him firmly, although my resolve felt anything but firm. The champagne and my feelings for him were hazing my judgement.

"Why not? We're consenting adults, we clearly get along and would like to take things further?" He had a point.

"But you're my boss!"

"I could fire you if that would help?" He joked but I felt a pang of uncertainty that he might be serious.

"It would not help for me to lose my job no." I pulled away from him and sat back in my chair.

"C'mon, I was kidding. What are you worried about?" He crouched in front of me and took my hands in his.

"Oh only about a million things!"

"Start with number one."

"That we do this and things turn out bad, or you only want one night and then we have to keep working together and it's awkward."

"Okay well I don't do one night stands so that's one down. Why would things turn out bad? We're both adults, if it doesn't work out we can still be friends, colleagues, there's no reason we couldn't."

"Seeing each other naked isn't a reason for things to be weird?"

"We'll do it with the lights off?" He smiled and I couldn't help laughing, which in turn made him laugh that raspy chuckle of his that drove me crazy. "What else?"

"I don't know." In that moment, listening to his laugh, feeling his warm hands around mine, I couldn't think of a single reason why we shouldn't. And so we did.

Image from blog http://blog.hsssales.com/how-to/everything-you-need-to-know-about-becoming-a-carpenter/ found on google images.

The Crush

After saying I wouldn't write another short story I have done just that. It just goes to show you should never say never! This is kind of fanfic type short story. The idea actually came to me from this tweet...

The Crush

by Kath Lambert

When I was young, around 12 or 13, I had this crush on my brother's best friend. I guess most girls tend to around that age. The problem for the girl in this scenario is that the best friend never tends to see said girl as anything more than an annoying tag along to their boys games or worse, as an extension to their own family, essentially looking on said girl as their own little sister.

Years went by and I knew Aaron looked at me as nothing but a little sister. Especially as I was so much younger than him, the age gap between me and him being the same as between me and my brother, 10 years.

Over time my brother lost touch with Aaron. They were inseparable for years but one day, seemingly overnight, they just stopped speaking. Over what, I will never know. Or so I thought.

In the years that passed I never gave much thought to Aaron other than the occasional 'I wonder what happened to him, gee he was kinda hot' thoughts. They were fleeting and didn't tend to stay in my head for long. 

I moved away from my home town around the same time as my brother was settling down to marriage and kids. The 10 year gap between us never more evident as he was becoming a family man in his 30s and I was becoming, well, myself I guess, in my 20s.

By my 30s I'd become a successful lawyer, no husband or kids but I wasn't looking for that, and was quite pleased with how my life was turning out. I visit my now 40 something brother and his family regularly, and think how nice it would be to someday have what he has, but I can't see anything on the immediate horizon. 

That was until this morning when I walked into court and saw Aaron James standing by the door to my courtroom. He was leaning against the doorframe in a grey suit and tie over a crisp white shirt, his hands in his pockets. I hadn't seen him in more than 10 years but I'd recognise him anywhere. Age had given his face a rugged quality. His hair was the same dirty blonde I remembered, though worn in a style more suited to a man in his early 40s. 

He looked up at me with his piercing grey blue eyes and gave me the most dazzling crooked grin, so dazzling that I think I melted inside. No damnit, I was a tough as nails lawyer, he couldn't make me feel like I was 13 again!

"Miss Thorn, well I'll be." He pronounced Miss as Miz and removed his hands from his pockets to embrace me. I recalled that he and my brother used to work out. Clearly he still was as I didn't recall him having arms like this when he was a younger man. He kissed me on each cheek and smelled divine. I had yet to say anything. 13 year old me was still tongue tied. I pushed her down and forced my 31 year old kick ass lawyer woman to step up.

"What are you doing here?" I asked in the nicest, none shocked tone I could muster.

"The guy you're gonna send down today was an assignment of mine. I like to make sure they get what they deserve. I saw your name on the documents for the prosecution and I thought 'it can't be THE Lara Thorn' so I thought I'd come see for myself before court was in session." He folded his arms across his chest and inspected me in a brief up and down sweep. 

"An assignment of yours? What do you do now?" I asked warily. Not entirely sure I wanted to know. Though the suit he was wearing looked expensive so I was betting he wasn't a bounty hunter.

"I'm a secret agent. Ssshh. Don't tell anyone." He laughed. I wasn't sure how to read his response. "I'm kidding of course! But I can't really tell you. Suffice to say I help catch bad guys."

"Okay!" Why was he being so cryptic? "I should be going..." I started to go around him not really knowing if he was making fun of me or being serious or what.

"Wait." He reached for my arm but thought better of grabbing me in a court house. I turned to see what he had to say. "I'm gonna be here all morning. You wanna grab lunch when this is all over?" He combed his hand through his hair like he was nervous. What about I wasn't sure. I wasn't even sure he was serious about lunch? I didn't know how to read him anymore.

"Uh..." I was trying to think what to say. 13 year old me wanted to say yes, she was pleading with me, but part of me couldn't recognise this guy in front of me as the young man I'd had a crush on. But then the question reared it's ugly head. Why had he stopped being friends with my brother? I had to know. It had bothered me for years. So I accepted.

"Great, I'll meet you here?" He half suggested and half asked. "Sure." I responded and turned and walked away from him towards my client who was waiting for me outside the courtroom. When I turned to go in with her, Aaron had gone.

I'd been a lawyer for five years and been in courtrooms all over the place but I loved New York courtrooms more than any other. Even the little ones that looked like they were made of cardboard. This one was one of the more grand looking. Today we were in the New York County Supreme Court near City Hall. Outside it's all Corinthian Columns but inside it looks like any other courtroom. Just bigger. All wood panelling and harsh lighting.

As we walked in I noticed Aaron at the back of the public seating area. He gave me a nod as I lead my client to our seats at the front of the courtroom. We went over her concerns as we waited for her husband to be brought up from the holding cells with his lawyer.   

The case was an easy one. Bad guy went down just as Aaron had predicted and when it was all over I lead my client to the door. There were local press waiting when we reached the outer doors but my client remained silent as I'd instructed, while I told the press that a statement would be released from my office in due course. I made sure my client made it to the car waiting for her and excused myself by telling her I was required back inside the courthouse. It wasn't exactly a lie and I was nothing if not a good lawyer.

When I turned to go back in I could see the press were still outside and would be trying desperately to get me to answer their questions if I went back inside. Thankfully Aaron realised this and made his way outside to me. 

"Ready?" He asked and offered me his arm which I took. "You were great in there you know?" He again half told me and half asked. It was as if he didn't know how to be around me anymore.

I suggested we go to a small and usually quiet diner I liked just around the corner on Lafayette street. We took seats side by side at the bar that lined the wall and ordered drinks while we started our idle chat, how've you been, what have you been up to, married, kids etc? By the time the food came I could hold onto my question no longer. "You've not asked me about Ben?" I prompted. Wondering if this would get me the answer or if I'd have to ask it directly. I was no stranger to asking direct questions but I didn't want to interrogate him.

"How is he?" Aaron looked up from his coffee and for the first time I noticed a sadness in his eyes. "He's good. Married now. Two kids." I felt bad. I hadn't wanted to upset him. What the hell did I know. I was a kid when they stopped speaking. For all I knew Aaron came onto my brother and was rejected. Knowing how he felt about him Ben could never see him again. That sure would explain the sadness.

He smiled but it didn't seem genuine. "That's great. I'm really happy for him." He stirred his coffee and took a sip. He really didn't seem happy for him. It was then that our food arrived. The little girl in me was getting impatient and being in leagues with the lawyer in me I had to know. Once the waitress was out of earshot I asked him THE question. "So... why did you stop being friends?" I glanced at him quickly to gauge his reaction to the question. He'd just taken a bite of his steak sandwich but he held it in front of him, a puzzled look on his face, as though it was chicken instead of steak, but I knew the look was in regard to the question, not the sandwich. He looked sideways at me, boldly, kind of incredulously and swallowed. "You mean you don't know?" His eyes bore into me, the way I sometimes looked at a witness, trying to read the truth from them without them having to speak.

"Know what?" I asked, trying to avoid his gaze. If I was right about the gay thing I didn't want him to think I'd known that all along. I played nervously with my pasta salad.

"Why we fell out? You really don't know?" He turned to face me then, laughed and threw his arms up. "All this time and he's never told you?" Aaron looked volatile in that moment, like he'd have taken a swing for Ben if he'd been in the room. Being so close to him at the bar I felt a little intimidated. I mirrored his turn and faced him to see if that eased the tension between us. It didn't. "That little..." He forced himself to silence and turned back to face the wall. He tore another bite from his sandwich and shook his head as he chewed.

"I asked him but he never told me. He would just tell me to drop it so I did. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked. It's clearly private and I shouldn't have asked." I felt like leaving but I'd only just started my lunch and I was starving from being in court all morning. I started eating, figuring the silence might alleviate the tension. I could feel Aaron's gaze still on me as I twirled pasta around my fork. He took a deep breath.

"How old were you when we, when Ben and I stopped being friends?" I stopped to think. "I dunno, around 16 or 17. I don't think I'd left high school. Why?" I wasn't following his train of thought so I hoped he was going somewhere with this. "So I would have been around 26, 27?" He'd turned to face me again. "Yeah I guess?" I took another bite, maybe if I couldn't speak he'd stop asking me questions. He leaned back in his chair, considering how to phrase his next response. "Right. And at that age, the age you were I mean, you were starting to develop. That's fair to say right?" He gesticulated to his chest when he said 'develop' so I had a pretty good idea where he was going now. "Yeah I guess so. I sprouted a few inches and my boobs came in if that's what you're getting at?" I wasn't sure if I was angry or happy that he'd noticed my boobs. Though as I got my first bra for athletics at school they were kinda hard not to notice.

"See now I sound like a dick." He rested his arm on the table in defeat. 

"Go on, you've started now." The lawyer in me wanted him to get to his point, if he had one. "Well, I noticed." He looked up at me, rather sheepishly. 

"So...?" I asked impatiently. "You're a lawyer, can't you deduce what happened when your brother's 26 year old friend noticed his 16 year old sister's breasts?" My eyes and mouth widened in shock. He'd noticed me? 16 year old me with bad skin and a tendency to be an utter geek? No, he was making fun of me again, surely, like back in the courthouse this morning. He must have realised I had a crush on him and he's making fun of me. Suddenly my hunger was gone. I stood up, threw my napkin on my plate and $30 on the bar. I didn't expect him to pay for me. I left without saying another word.

I could hear him scrambling in the diner and calling my name as I walked out the door. A few minutes later he was running down the street after me. I stopped to hail a cab but they were all taken and he was getting closer. "Wait goddamnyou!" He spat as he reached me. He grabbed both of my arms in his hands. No polite half heartedness on the sidewalk. "What?" I asked in my restrained state. I shrugged and he loosened his grip slightly. "Why'd you run out like that?" He seemed genuinely bewildered. "I won't be made fun of Aaron." I shrugged again and this time he let me go. "What are you talking about? I wasn't making fun of you? You asked why your brother and I stopped being friends. It's because I wanted you." 

He pulled in a breath, I could tell he regretted the comment as soon as he'd said it. "I mean, not like that, eventually sure, but I just wanted to talk to you, get to know you. You got on my radar and after that I couldn't stop thinking about you. I kept insisting you hang out with us, that's why we used to take you to the movies with us and when we went for breakfast on Saturday mornings. He used to allow it because he knew you had a crush on me but then when I started to like you, he freaked. He told me if I ever touched you he'd kill me. I tried to tell him that I didn't want you like that, that you were too young and I didn't see you like that. I was trying to convince myself as much as him. I tried to tell him that I could just see that you were growing up and that I wanted to get to know the woman you were turning into, but he wouldn't hear it. He threw me out of your parents house and he wouldn't talk to me after that." He pulled his hand through his hair again. So it was a nervous thing after all. Part of me was thrilled at this admission and the other half a little weirded out.

"I knew Ben would stay true to his word, so I left town. I got a job out of state and I tried to forget you Lara I really did. But when I saw your name on those court documents I had to know if it was you." He brushed my cheek with his thumb. It was only then I realised I was crying. I covered his hand with my own and reached for him with the other. I kissed him softly, suddenly remembering all the times I'd done it in my head. It was better in reality. He kissed me back, more urgently and raked his other hand across my throat, pulling me to him. I could taste the coffee on his tongue. 

Memories of him and Ben taking me to breakfast filled my mind. 13 year old me was shrieking, holy shit, I was kissing Aaron James. For real! I don't know how long we stood on that sidewalk but it didn't feel long enough considering how long we'd both waited to do that. Both. Not just me. I had to keep reminding myself of that. I'd believed it was a one sided crush for so long. When we stopped for air he ran his thumbs along my cheekbones and just stared at me. "Jesus Lara, where the hell have you been for the last 14 years?" "I could say the same to you!" I replied.

It Was Like Something Out Of A Horror Movie

I recently had one of the most disturbing and freaky dreams that I can only describe as being 'like something out of a horror movie' and when I told my friends about it their responses were, 'had you been eating cheese?', 'what did you watch before you went to bed?' and 'that would make a great short story!'.

As I always eat cheese and hadn't watched anything too weird before bed I decided that the third exclamation was probably quite a wise idea. So here it is readers, my first attempt at a short story! Go easy on me!

Oh and you might want to have a listen to this song whilst you're reading!

It Was Like Something Out Of A Horror Movie

By Kath Lambert

Lena and her best friend Grace were walking back to Lena's house one summer evening. They always walked through the park as it was the quickest way. Grace's mum used to tell them off whenever they slipped up and mentioned it in passing. "You don't know what's in that place at night" she'd say.

They always rolled their eyes and laughed. Firstly because the park was a vast open space. No trees or bushes for creeps to hide behind. Secondly it was in between two built up suburban areas. Thirdly it was summer so it wasn't even dark until really late and they never went through the park when it was really late. And fourth, well there wasn't really a fourth but they just thought Grace's mum was paranoid!

This night was just like all others. Lena had been round at Grace's house watching horror movies. Their favourite genre. Grace got easily scared but still enjoyed the fright, whereas Lena was much tougher and it took a lot to scare her. She always looked at things logically and so would point out where the people in the movie were going wrong. "No, don't go in there, the killer is waiting for you", she'd shout in a matter-of-fact sort of way. All the while making Grace more scared with all the impending doom.

The only time Lena was scared, and in a totally illogical way, was if there was a spider in the room. She had an irrational fear of the pesky creatures and Grace thought this was funny. How could someone be so logical when it came to psychopaths but so afraid of a little eight legged creature. 

The girls used to alternate nights during the summer, Lena would spend the day at Grace's house and then Grace would spend the night at Lena's house. The following day they'd spend it at Lena's house and go back to Grace's to sleep. It gave their mum's a short break as both were single parents.

That night they'd set off from Grace's house after dinner and were happily walking through the park when they happened upon Becky on the roundabout in the play area. Ah Becky. Not a friend and not a foe. Becky was the girl they loved to hate but when all was said and done they really had no reason to. 

Becky's only curse was that she was lucky in life. She'd been born with flowing golden hair and long legs. Pretty but not over the top beautiful. Wealthy parents who catered to her every desire. Lena and Grace knew that they had no real reason to hate Becky. But hate her they did. 

Not to her face though. That would be pointless and mean as they had nothing to back up the hatred. So whenever they saw her they smiled their fake smiles and asked how she was. But not tonight. 

Becky was lying across the roundabout. It was still spinning but she was not moving. And her golden hair was all matted with blood. Maybe she wasn't so lucky after all.

Lena and Grace looked at Becky and then at each other, and then they screamed. There was no-one in sight that could have done this. No culprit to run from. And having never been in this situation before - for real - they didn't know what to do. Not even the logical Lena.

So they ran. Lena in the direction of her home and Grace towards her house. They ran like this for a few moments when they realised they were no longer together. They stopped and ran back towards each other but soon realised this put them back within short distance of the body. 

The skies had started to darken now and as the girls stood within a few feet of poor Becky they thought they saw someone approaching from Lena's side of the park. 

Needing the assistance only an adult could provide they instinctively ran towards the shadowy figure and immediately started to shout at the person and talk over one another to the extent that neither of them was understandable.

"Calm down" said the man as he put his hands out to let the girls know he was not a threat to them.

"Over there, our friend, she's dead!" Lena managed to blurt through breathlessness and fright. Grace just managed a nod and some tears.

"Show me" said the man, wondering if this was some kind of prank.

As they reached the play area the man noted there was indeed a still figure on the roundabout. He told the girls to wait on the edge of the play area whilst he went to check on the girl. In truth he just didn't want to be jumped by the girls if this was all a prank. He checked for the girl's pulse but there was none. She was really dead.

The man looked up to see someone else approaching from Grace's side of the park. Another man, walking his dogs. He felt relieved to have some back up.

Suddenly one of the dogs leapt high into the air and seemed to come out of the black night and land on the man. Before he knew what had happened he was a meal.

But while the man thought he'd seen two dogs in the distance, Lena knew what she'd seen. She was just too scared to move or speak.

The thing that leapt into the air and ate the man was no dog. It was a giant spider. It's body was relatively small, perhaps the same size as a small dog. But it's legs were long and spindly. Big enough to wrap around a man twice. 

Lena was frozen and while Grace couldn't make out what it was that had attacked their helper, she knew from Lena's reaction that it had to be bad.

She grabbed Lena's hand and tugged as hard as she could but Lena did not move. She knew they didn't have long to get away so Grace grabbed the slight and petite Lena and threw her over her shoulder. Huffing and puffing as she ran. 

When they got to the hill Grace set Lena down with her back to the feast that was still going on in the playground, and she slapped her friend hard in the face. Lena looked up at Grace with a wild, unrestrained terror in her eyes.

There was a whistle as the man and his dog reached the playground and the feast seemed to stop. The creature returned to the man's side and he petted it. He petted it like it was a dog who'd retrieved a bone. 

Grace witnessed the whole thing. Although the light was almost gone and she still wasn't sure that she'd seen what she'd seen, Grace could not believe that this man was treating this creature like a pet. She pulled again on Lena's hand, knowing she couldn't carry them both up the hill and this time Lena moved. 

They didn't stop running until they reached Lena's house. They ran in the house and up to Lena's room. They stood in the darkness and watched as the man carried the giant spider back across the park as though it were a baby in a sling. It's eight legs folded around the man as he carried it and it's eight eyes glistening in the moonlight.

*Image from Google Images - National Geographic photography photo of the day - Photograph by Yi Hsien Lee*

Kitchen Sink Drama

Well it's that time again peeps, short story time! This one has been waiting in my inbox for some time as I don't like to read other people's work when I'm writing. But as I'm not writing anymore (sad face) it meant I could read this and then finally get around to publishing it on the blog.

I hope you enjoy it, it's one of my brother's so we're lucky to have it now that he's got his own blog to populate.

Kitchen Sink Drama

By Mike Lambert

  The powder in the back rooms floated in the air like unwanted magic as the brushes whisked just as much into the atmosphere as it did onto the actresses faces.  The make-up artists worked their craft with a fury, spreading all manner of potions and concoctions across the faces of the assorted talent so they would look “normal” in front of the cameras and under the fiery halogens that fried as much as it lit.  Their wardrobes had already been selected, both their characters and mood for the scene at hand. They knew their lines well having rehearsed the previous week and needed no prompting for what they had to say.  The only thing left to the actors was the interpretation, how they read the scene, but Letitia, Tradisha and Brett had been here so many times before that they all knew just how the game was played and how to make the cameras do their bidding ...mostly.

  “Hello, Angels.  How are we all today?” asked Antoine, the Director, mincing his way into the room.

  “Fine,” “Hi,” replied the girls as they managed to fake a smile while still keeping their heads completely still.  Brett ignored Antoine and instead chose to work on his glower while the make-up women moved seductively round him.

  “Okay, people.  Now we are doing episode 3, scene 24 today, okay?” asked Antoine, although it wasn’t really a question.  Antoine wiggled off to today’s set and began barking orders, getting marks laid on the floor so the actors knew where to stand and lighting crew knew how to light the scene.  The start time of today’s scene was 10am and so the crew had been on set from 7am to prepare.  The actor’s turned up an hour later and the uncalm nature of the set became even less calm as Antoine started shouting even more fiercely than he had before.  Eventually however, at around 10:20am a hush came upon the set and that seemed to act as a silent acknowledgement that the first shot of the day was about to take place.

  “Okay, places, people,” whispered Antoine as loudly as he could while Letitia and Brett stood patiently on their marks. “And ACTION!”

LETITIA:  SO, BRETT.  THIS BOY’S HOLIDAY YOU’RE GOING ON ...WHO ELSE IS GOING?

BRETT:  (WHILE PACKING HIS CASE) JUST ME AND THE GUYS.  THAT’S ALL, BABE.

LETITIA:  WHO ELSE IS GOING, BABE?

BRETT: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?  (BRETT BEGINS TO LOOK SHIFTY)

LETITIA:  THAT BITCH, TRADISHA IS GOING, ISN’T SHE BRETT?

BRETT:  LETITIA, HONEY, IT’S NOT WHAT YOU THINK.

(DOOR OPENS.  TRADISHA ENTERS)

TRADISHA:  WHO YOU CALLING A SLUT, YOU F****** SLUT?”

LETITIA:  IF YOU THINK YOU’RE GETTING YOUR HANDS ON MY MAN YOU CAN THINK AGAIN YOU F****** B****!

TRADISHA:  HE CAN DO WHATEVER HE LIKE, B****!  YOU’RE NOT MARRIED TO HIM!

LETITIA:  YOU F******, C******, B****!  I’LL F****** KILL YOU!

(THE TWO GIRLS BEGIN TO FIGHT AND SCREAM WHILE YANKING THE HELL OUT OF EACH OTHER’S HAIR)

  “And CUT!” shouted Antoine.

   “Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!” said Letitia, wincing in pain.  “Your rings are caught in my extensions, babe.”

  “Oh I’m sorry, Hon,” said Tradisha as she carefully removed her fingers from Letitia’s hair.  “You okay, Sweet?”

  “Fine,” said Letitia as she straightened up and fluffed her hair out.  Letitia and Tradisha began to chat while Brett merely looked in the mirror and admired his naked torso.

 “Okay, okay, very good,” Antoine began, whilst not raising his eye’s from today’s script.  “Brett, darling, you were divine ...ladies you fell out of shot during the fight so we’ll need to go again.”

  Both women could not hide their looks of disappointment knowing the most potentially painful part of their scene had to be re-shot.

  “Also ladies remember, Tradisha has to be seen to winning the fight first, and then, Letitia, you come back and win, okay?” asked Antoine with a wink.  The make-up women came back on set to add more blusher and lacquer down the hair again whilst the crew tested the light levels.

  “God, I hate working on TV,” said Letitia as everyone fussed around her, attempting to do 15 minutes work in 30 seconds.

  “At least you don’t have to kiss Brett today,” said Tradisha with a smirk.  They both looked back at the “hunk” as he flexed himself in front of a full length wall mirror.

  “God, look at the state of him,” Letitia whispered.  “He looks like they selotaped some pumpkins, mangoes and satsuma’s into a man shape and then sprayed it with even more orange fake tan!”

  “Ha-ha-ha!” chuckled Tradisha with her hand over her mouth.  “It’s even worse kissing him you know.  He’s so Mister body-beautiful that all he eats is Tuna, and his breath ...stinks!”

  “I know.  I left some tic-tacs in his room one time.  He came on set and said he’d got them for ME as a gift!” replied Letitia.

  “Cheeky shit!” said Tradisha.

  “Do you know he’s gay?” asked Letitia.

  “Brett?  No!” replied Tradisha, before being shushed by Letitia.

  “Uh-Huh!  Apparently that’s why he’s Antoine’s favourite because he and Brett are...” said Letitia raising her eyebrows.

  “You serious?” said Tradisha.

  “Mmmm,” replied Letitia.  “They also like to play Priest and Choirboy together.  But that isn’t the worst of it here.”

  “What do you mean?” asked Tradisha.

  “Well, you know the Producer, Greg?” asked Letitia, but even before Tradisha started to nod she had carried on talking. “Well it’s got out that outside of here the Producer is one of those execs that attends certain special adult baby clubs, shitting in nappies and having his arse wiped and stuff.  Yeah, someone saw footage of this on his phone and so that’s why he doesn’t show his face round here anymore.  He’s gay too!”

  “When were you gonna tell me all this?” whispered Tradisha.

  “Well, to be honest it completely went out of mind,” said Letitia.

  “Jesus, Letitia, I can’t believe you didn’t tell me this.  When did you find all this out?” demanded Tradisha.

  “Only before.  I found out from the make-up woman,” said Letitia.

  “Really?” asked Tradisha.

  “Honest,” said Letitia.  “Okay?”

  “Okay,” replied Tradisha, uncertainly, before turning back to look at Antoine fawning over the shirtless, Brett.  “Dirty bastards!”

  “Yeah.  Just glad I like girls really,” said Letitia.

  “Not as glad as I am!” giggled Tradisha, mischievously.  They both smiled secretively at each other as Antoine screamed positions and they went back to their initial marks.

  “And ACTION!” 

  The rest of the day passed with one scene after another, commentaries, bloopers and DVD extras all being filmed for the UNCUT release that would eventually litter shelves of charity shops across the country.  Afterwards all Letitia wanted to do was get the grease off her face, slip into her PJ’s and drink red wine while watching “Casualty” but that lifestyle was no longer her choice, instead she hustled over to E4 to be interviewed by some gormless music journalist.  Yet more make-up was plastered on and she was squeezed into an even more ridiculous, supposedly-glamourous outfit.

  “So, Letitia,” began Froydon Ratchet, with a come-on grin that she wanted to punch off his face.  “You’re in the hit reality TV show “Sex In Man City”.  What do you think is the key to its success?”

  “I think it’s because it’s just so real,” replied Letitia, her fake triangular smile flashing perfectly.

Fin